You Are Your Own Worst Enemy - thoughts on ego protection and self-sabotage

Re:You Are Your Own Worst Enemy - thoughts on ego protection... by jisidore on Wednesday August 28, 2013 @05:25AM (#6288789)

Hi, I just graduated in CS this summer. Coming into uni out of foster care I always felt that things were much more difficult for me than for other students because other students had their families for support and didn't have the same emotional baggage that I do.

There have been times though where I've wondered if I was self-handicapping, how do I know that things aren't as difficult for them? I guess I felt it would be more acceptable for someone with my background to fail or break the rules.

Like the students the author writes of, I once thought I was exceptional but I'm not and it's surprisingly difficult to be honest with yourself about that.

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Re:You Are Your Own Worst Enemy - thoughts on ego protection... by zobront on Wednesday August 28, 2013 @06:25PM (#6293090)

Re: Are you self-handicapping? Probably not. You've got a real disadvantage. BUT that doesn't mean you should hold yourself to any lower of a standard. I find that a useful heuristic is to automatically answer "yes" to this question. In other words, if I told you authoritatively, "YES, YOU ARE SELF-HANDICAPPING - SNAP OUT OF IT" what would you do differently? Usually, whether it's true or not, those are the right decisions.

Re: Exceptional. I'm sure you are. Exceptional is a vague term and that can lead to big ego swings. We can all find evidence that we're "exceptional" and "non-exceptional" every day. The trick is to realize that assuming that your exceptional innate abilities will lead you to success without work is a myth. Just keep hustling. Excellence is a habit, not a trait.

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