Some of the poor maybe be lazy and shiftless, but having middle class / wealthy parents doesn't just give you money and education and health -- it also gives you the very habits and abilities (saving, studying, deferring rewards, working hard, etc) that keep people from being poor or staying poor. Even things like applying to college are different if you have parents who can help guide you through the process -- I read a heartrending account of a (poor) child who got a scholarship to go to a private high school but his parents couldn't afford the transportation and he didn't have the institutional knowledge to know that if they'd told the school that, the school would have helped. So he declined a great education for the lack of $400.
Growing up middle or upper class also gives you all the social markers people look for -- whether it's straight, clean teeth, the ability (and skill) to dress appropriately for a variety of social situations, the proper manners to eat in a range of restaurants from a greasy spoon to a 3 star Michelin, a good suit to go to interviews, acne medication so you don't have acne scars, the ability to make small conversation about art, etc. If you read the literature, most Americans drastically overestimate the social mobility of America and are shocked when they hear how very heritable wealth is.
Note I dropped the "lazy" qualifier. I'm not convinced that doesn't cut across social classes pretty freely, nor did you talk about it at all.
I do broadly agree, though. Many programs to "help the poor" amount to throwing money at them, but that doesn't strike at the root causes at all, which I think you're largely correct about. Pouring water into a leaky bucket doesn't help; you need to fix the leaks.
You have to do your part when reading other people's arguments and at least try to find out why they might have a point, instead of searching for the exact angle that doesn't make sense. That pessimizes the information content you can get from someone; there's always an angle where it's wrong, no matter how you have to torture the English to get there, but because that's always true, that's information-free.
Incidentally, make sure you know what the term means, I had to look it up myself to make sure I wasn't misusing it: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shiftless
And I did look up shiftless beforehand.
Maybe you should consider that your arguments aren't half as clear as you think they are?
I'm tempted to put responsibility at #1 for everyone who wasn't born with some obvious disadvantage (living in a 3rd world slum or having a serious disability.)
It's true what they say about walking a mile in their shoes. You really have no idea what it's like.
There's also a #2 factor and a #3 factor and a #4 factor, etc, and some of those reflect the hideous face of dame fortune. But attributing guilt to ANYONE, the winner or the loser, on chance, is a stupid mistake. So-and-so was born with a low IQ. Not my fault. In fact, as a eugenics supporter, I did my best to prevent it. (<-- joke)
Two married friends of mine work in DC schools. The husband works in a charter school and handles their IT department (this is a joke - he essentially tries to scrabble up funds however possible so the kids have something). The wife works in a public school.
While the husband's job is tough - kids come from drug-addicted, violent families; kids come to school with guns, sometimes accidentally, cuz their brothers/sisters borrowed their backpacks, etc.
The wife's job is impossible.
She works in a classroom that has no books. This is not an exaggeration.
It also has no power.
Between her classroom and the next one, there is enough power to run a single box fan. So when it gets hot - and summer in DC is hellacious - they trade off. If one classroom acts up, the box fan goes away to the other classroom.
Now tell me. You are a kid in inner city DC - the richest counties in the US are nearby. You live in the seat of American political power, but the only people you know who have any money and any lifestyle are drug dealers and gun runners. Those people both embody and romanticize "live fast, die young."
You can't do anything but basic math, and you can't read anything more advanced than children's books... not that it matters, since your classroom has no books & no electrical lighting to see by.
And yet there is a skinny white lady (also far from wealthy) up front telling you to believe and stick with it and that you can get somewhere in life... through education.
With everything else that life has taught you, you'd have to be an idiot to believe her.