We were wrong - Hackdot

Re:We were wrong by hacker789 on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:26PM (#5918992)

"Take your exposed penis, and thrust it into her vagina. Don't wait for her to put it in for you. Be dominant."

That could be instructions for rape. Or it could be instructions for the kind of a sex that millions of straight couples have every day. It all depends on the quote's context, right?

Right?

So stop taking quotes out of context from the author.

> If women are loudly saying "This is assault.", you need to take them at their word, because it is their judgment, it is their consent that matters. Not yours.

Your language is intentionally misleading. What matters is the woman with whom you're interacting. Feminist internet commenters can neither give consent nor take it away. And the author is severely explicit about respecting consent. His quotes are being butchered.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by jmduke on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:33PM (#5919078)

Or it could be instructions for the kind of a sex that millions of straight couples have every day. It all depends on the quote's context, right?

This is a book on seduction, not a book on long-term relationships. I'm not defending the OP, but don't be intentionally dense.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by abstractbill on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:49PM (#5919210)

You can (and probably should) seduce someone you've been married to for years.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by Samuel_Michon on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:46PM (#5919179)

Actually, the book has an entire chapter on long-term relationships and compatibility.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by tomp on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:51PM (#5919227)

So how do you get into a long-term relationship if not by seducing your partner?

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by lotharbot on Friday June 21, 2013 @03:55PM (#5920587)

There are long-term relationships where sex is one of the later steps, after there's already some form of long-term commitment. There are a lot of things that can happen well before the "seduction" step -- talking, mutual interests, shared experiences, and so on.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by malandrew on Friday June 21, 2013 @01:45PM (#5919686)

   "That could be instructions for rape. Or it could be 
    instructions for the kind of a sex that millions of 
    straight couples have every day. It all depends on the 
    quote's context, right?

Exactly. I highly recommend anyone that disagrees or doesn't believe this statement to watch the interviews commonly found at the end of any BDSM kink.com videos. Those interviews at the end are enlightening for anyone with a narrow vanilla view of how sex should be. Different sexual practices and preferences are really no different than the spectrum of music preferences out there and equally valid.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by king_jester on Friday June 21, 2013 @02:52PM (#5920165)

Folks into BDSM are (or should be) overwhelmingly clear about consent, pre-negotiating their play and having things like safe words. That is worlds apart from what the project is advocating, which is to take actions without pre-negotiated consent and to ignore objections made by your partner. Anybody in the scene will tell you that engaging in that kind of shit without clearing it ahead of time (esp. way ahead of time in a non-sexual situation) is someone who is committing real actual rape.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by malandrew on Friday June 21, 2013 @03:34PM (#5920436)

I completely agree. The point I was trying to make is that there are wildly different variations of what is and is not consensual behavior. For folks who actively participate in the BDSM community the social norms are very much in favor of clear, adult, responsible communication. However, there exist lots of men and women who have inclinations towards BDSM and are turned on by BDSM practices who have never been introduced to the community and have not learned these "best practices" in terms of communication. This means that there are many men and women who enjoy and like aggressive sexual advances who have never been taught how to communicate their interests as an adult, and that entire population of people who are inexperienced create a grey area. BDSM and other non-vanilla interests going mainstream would go a long way to raising the general level of discourse and communication about sex in general.

Just to be clear, please don't take my comment as excusing the problems people have raised here, but as simply an impartial anthropological description of the reality of the world.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by gregd on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:43PM (#5919162)

The bullshit excuse I keep seeing about "taking quotes out of context" is making me mad. The author himself, removed those specific passages from his Reddit thread when the shit storm started brewing.

If he worded what he wanted to say correctly and with the proper context, why remove them?

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by 300bps on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:58PM (#5919286)

>If he worded what he wanted to say correctly and with the proper context, why remove them?

Why refuse to speak to the police without an attorney present if you have nothing to hide? Your question is no more fair than that one. If I were stirring up a "shit storm" by offending people about a hot-button topic I would certainly start deleting everything I could. Seriously, the guy got a measly $16,000 for this and people were threatening to ruin his life over it.

Regardless of whether what I did was wrong or not I would've deleted it all, refunded the $16,000 and disappeared for a while.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by gregd on Friday June 21, 2013 @01:05PM (#5919342)

My question is fair because the author is the one that removed the context. The context which he stated, was taken wrong.

You comparing being interviewed by the police without an attorney present and what I said is ludicrous.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by tomp on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:52PM (#5919233)

Actually, he didn't. Open [1] and search for "permission" and "dick". It's all right there.

[1]: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dvnem/above_the_...

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by gregd on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:58PM (#5919288)

Actually he had. Those passages were not there and clicking on your link led to those passages having been removed at one point at the height of the shit storm.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by creativeembassy on Friday June 21, 2013 @01:14PM (#5919438)

What are YOU looking at? I pulled open the link and searched for "permission". It's the second use of the word. The entire passage is right there.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by gregd on Friday June 21, 2013 @01:21PM (#5919480)

@creativeembassy - Jesus, are you being deliberately obtuse? The passages WEREN'T there at the height of the controversy (i.e.: they'd been removed). They ARE there now.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by anonygirl on Friday June 21, 2013 @01:59PM (#5919799)

Some people are not comfortable with shit storms. I certainly wouldn't be. That doesn't necessarily mean they are wrong.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by angersock on Friday June 21, 2013 @12:28PM (#5919010)

"Take your exposed penis, and thrust it into her vagina."

wait wait wait

that's what ive been doing wrong this whole time?

and here i was thinking i was just sterile!

EDIT: Really, folks? No sense of humor here sometimes, I swear. Not to worry--the NSA is keeping record of jokes for all posterity!

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by driverdan on Friday June 21, 2013 @01:51PM (#5919735)

This isn't Reddit. Pointless humor posts are discouraged and downvoted.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:We were wrong by angersock on Friday June 21, 2013 @04:59PM (#5920960)

Eh, it depends, honestly. HN shouldn't be srs bznz all the time.

[ Parent | on HN ]