Re:Is Forced Fatherhood Fair?
by dredmorbius on Friday June 14, 2013 @04:26AM
(#5878882)
Another thought is: what effect do laws such as this (and others which tip the scales in favor of women in areas such as divorce and domestic violence) have on the dating and mating pools?
I've known men who've been entrapped by women into having kids (she went off the pill, didn't tell him ...). The one I'm thinking of should have finally been freed of his childcare obligations a year or two back. Her moving across the country meant he had virtually no access to the child. She's gone on to scam a few other men. And that's only one story.
I've known men (and women, for what it's worth) who've fallen prey to the immigration green-card marriage scam. Makes you think long and hard about getting involved with someone who doesn't have permanent residency (itself a significant pain in the US now). The good news is that you're fairly safe from risks in this case so long as you don't get married.
And of course, there's the divorce situation. One joke making the rounds after the 2008 financial crisis was: "It's worse than a divorce: I've lost my house, my car, and, half my retirement, and I've still got the wife". Divorce isn't easy on anyone, but the financial hit can be severe. Even in states with formulas for asset distribution, one vengeful party can drive legal costs through the roof.
The decreased level of financial security facing both men and women today may also be having a negative effect on relationships and marriage. Marketplace Radio is running a special program this week (which I hope they extend) called "Consumed", asking questions about our consumer economy, starting with "is it sustainable" (spoiler alert: no). On Wednesday's show, a story focused on a 43 year old adjunct art teacher. Working part-time, one of the sacrifices she's made is having a family: "At some point I had to think about having kids, and it's not been financially feasible for me to support anybody besides myself."
I've also known quite a few families who have tried to live like it was the 1980s all over again, with mortgages and credit cards and HELOCs. For many of them, _that_ path is ending in bankruptcy, divorce, extra jobs, and/or little or no retirement savings.
We're seeing the cracks all over the place, but you can't apply pressures as we have without them appearing in multiple places.
I've known men who've been entrapped by women into having kids (she went off the pill, didn't tell him ...). The one I'm thinking of should have finally been freed of his childcare obligations a year or two back. Her moving across the country meant he had virtually no access to the child. She's gone on to scam a few other men. And that's only one story.
I've known men (and women, for what it's worth) who've fallen prey to the immigration green-card marriage scam. Makes you think long and hard about getting involved with someone who doesn't have permanent residency (itself a significant pain in the US now). The good news is that you're fairly safe from risks in this case so long as you don't get married.
And of course, there's the divorce situation. One joke making the rounds after the 2008 financial crisis was: "It's worse than a divorce: I've lost my house, my car, and, half my retirement, and I've still got the wife". Divorce isn't easy on anyone, but the financial hit can be severe. Even in states with formulas for asset distribution, one vengeful party can drive legal costs through the roof.
The decreased level of financial security facing both men and women today may also be having a negative effect on relationships and marriage. Marketplace Radio is running a special program this week (which I hope they extend) called "Consumed", asking questions about our consumer economy, starting with "is it sustainable" (spoiler alert: no). On Wednesday's show, a story focused on a 43 year old adjunct art teacher. Working part-time, one of the sacrifices she's made is having a family: "At some point I had to think about having kids, and it's not been financially feasible for me to support anybody besides myself."
http://www.marketplace.org/topics/sustainability/consumed/pa...
I've also known quite a few families who have tried to live like it was the 1980s all over again, with mortgages and credit cards and HELOCs. For many of them, _that_ path is ending in bankruptcy, divorce, extra jobs, and/or little or no retirement savings.
We're seeing the cracks all over the place, but you can't apply pressures as we have without them appearing in multiple places.
Including on the dating and mating pools.