This is all easy for you to say considering the privilege you mention. These things are academic to you. They are a real lived experience for some of us.

Also, I'm not terrified of drinking events at conferences. It's not like it's this super-fun thing I'm so sad I'm missing because I've got this unreasonable fear. They're things I skip sometimes because it's more fun to go do something else than risk dealing with bullshit (or on rare occasions actual risk).