The key to maintaining a minimalist or anti-consumption lifestyle is to find a partner who holds the same values, and not having children.

It's still possible to be minimalistic, with kids... Kids love nothing more than spending time with their parents, and that is something today's western world seems to infringe... If both parents are working long hours, what happens to the kids, where is the time and love to nurture and educate them!

Absolutely true. Unfortunately, it's more expensive to have kids, which inhibits the transition to a freer lifestyle.

It is a bit of a shame when those in society that have been well educated, have invested heavily into themselves and have the most to pass on to their children choose not to breed. Yet those that many would consider have the least to pass on....

> ... and not having children.

Does it? My grandparents (and maybe yours too) had 5x more kids than this generation's parents, while making less money (my grandpa literally made the bricks of his house).

Are you sure they had less money in real terms?

You can (and should) still have kids. Once you find this similar partner, you just need to agree that that is how you want to raise your kids. They will be no less happy. Trust me I'm doing it.

Having children is orthogonal to making a break with corporate programmed consumerism.

'the wife' - your experience is not universal. Also this is a bit objectifying. Why don't you say 'my wife'?

Believe it or not there are plenty of 'wives' out there that are less into consumption and waste than their husbands. Gender does not determine environmental consciousness and desire for simplicity.

You can replace with 'the husband' if you prefer. Wasn't trying to objectify anyone. Maybe is the mental translation from Portuguese to English, but when talking about yourself or something related to yourself, to use 'the wife' or 'a esposa' is quite common. Even (direct translation) using 'the woman'/'a mulher' is inferred to be your own wife in casual conversation.

Excellent response to a rather shallow criticism.

I kind of understand - but I am in a similar position, and I went into it with my eyes half open. I would like to scale down, but how?

It may sound crazy, but one way to scale down is to move every few years, especially when you pick up the cost of moving. The more you do it the easier it is to cut down on the stuff in your life you don't need. You also can become quite adept at rebuilding your living environment on the cheap with things like Craig's List. Food for thought.

Again, this maybe hard with wife/kids.

When single I changed countries every 1-2 years (moved a lot around Europe). I learned to live with very little, but it isn't as easy when you have wife/kids (and uprooting your kid just for the sake of minimalism isn't really fair).

You don't have to change cities or even neighborhoods to move every year. I've gone through phases in my life where I get tired of my apartment every year and move across the street.

FWIW, I have a wife and 4 school-aged kids. :-)

Whoa! 4? My life is chaotic enough with just one :) How do they feel about the moving around?

Wife and I talked about moving in a couple of years, but I'm reluctant because of the kid.

My kids are used to it at this point, at least that's what they tell us. Whether it's completely true or not, only they know. We do our best to make sure and move to places that are interesting for them and then to enjoy whatever is around that area as a family.

That works pretty well.. but I'd also throw in that once you move, any box that you haven't opened in a year should be tossed. The same should go for clothes, tech gear, etc.

* I use a year instead of six months because occasionally you get that holiday-specific stuff that might be good to keep but only comes up annually.

What about old pictures of yourself, family, or other keepsakes?

I'll admit, this has been the toughest thing to deal with. At the moment we've left a sort of breadcrumb trail with family members in various parts of the world (a box here, a box there, almost exclusively with photos). I like the idea of scanning everything, but for those of us born well before digital cameras became the norm, that would be a lot of photos. :-)

Scan and put them on dropbox/flickr? Use iPad or one of those digital frames to display them?

Do you really even look at them? When I'm with relatives, I remember events, not pictures. I say dump the photos.

- Offer a kindle to your wife

- Offer a tablet to your wife

- Buy reusable diapers (it's more trouble, but cheaper on long run)

- Explain to the wife about the dangers of some plastics (BPAs, phtalates) and convince her to buy form local artisans (without trying to be political, tell her some of the toys are made by kids not much younger than your own)

- Put stuff in boxes you know she won't use. Store them away from her (a shed, storage unit, etc). After a year or so, ask her if she knows where item A,B,C is, and if she needs it. More likely she will have no idea where it is. Explain to her that if the last year she didn't needed that purple striped sweater, she probably won't need it ever. Suggest selling or donating.

- Ask for hand-me-downs from friends and family for your kid. It will be harder for he to justify buying new clothes ('But he needs a new pair of trousers') when you can point to the bunch that was given to you.

I think just those 5 things reduced a lot of the stuff we have in the house.

You will have to manage this of course, you can't expect everything to go your way. She will buy that dress/shoes, but avoid you doing it too just because she tells you also need new shoes. Also, we go on vacation (for her benefit as I really not into it) every once in a while. It is a partnership after.

Maybe I'm naive, but the idea of manipulating a partner into doing what one wants really rubs me the wrong way.

Wanting things is a legitimate choice, and it seems unfair to deprive someone of that choice through trickery.

Except for storing things away from her to see if she really needs them, none of the other points come close to trickery.

All the other things I talk to her, explain. Why buy new clothes every 2 months (seriously, the damn baby just keeps growing) if we can have a lot of hand-me-downs? She loves her kindle and iPad. The toys issue is a real concern and made it her concern as well. I started drinking a lot less because it was a concern for her.

I don't think it is manipulation. I hate clutter, she knows it, I try to find solutions where both are ok with it. I mentioned sometimes I get my way, sometimes she gets her way. I can't say for others, but I never found anyone that was 100 percent match in everything I like and believe. I mention it is a partnership. I hate going on holidays, hate it, but I go to make her happy. Of course I expect she does a few things to make me happy. If not (both sides), why the hell are we together? Just to save on rent?

Edit: Heck, if you read the top post, you even see I'm going back to work because I want her to have things she really wants.

There is manipulation in the opposite direction here too.

Who is this mystery wife that is such a hoarder and consumer? Why don't you discuss these things together like adults? Does she have limited mental faculties, and is incapable of rational, rather than emotional discussion? Is this the 1950's or something?

Actually, MY wife is. As I mentioned in previous thread, the wife in that case refers to my wife. And as I was replying to someone stating a similar boat, I guess it meant suggestions about his wife?

Go through everything. If you do not use it more than 1x a year (or is safety equipment), either donate it, sell it, or display it in a cherished manner.

Strongly consider moving to ebooks for almost everything

Empty out closets (after eating a meal). Force yourself to throw out most of it.

Stop waiting to file. Throw it all in a drawer, go through said drawer infrequently at scheduled times.

The main problem I have with living minimally is where to set the boundary. What does it really mean to live minimally? If it's only about getting rid of as much stuff as possible and spending as little as possible on everything, than it's more like asceticism than minimalism to me. Damn, let's just go back to caves, hunt for food and make own clothes!

I've read a lot of blogs about living minimally and one thing I've noticed is that most of the authors try hard to convince not the readers, but themselves that they're happy with that way of life. I don't buy that. To me minimalism was never about spending less money on things, just the opposite - spend more money, but on less stuff. In other words, quality over quantity. Spend money on stuff that makes you happy, be it travelling, sports cars or attending to as much concerts as possible. Money gives possibilities to experience things, and in my opinion it's what makes life interesting. I don't mind working hard to earn more money, so later I can experience more, without counting every penny. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot more important things in life that money can't buy, but it doesn't mean that money isn't essential to happiness. Just don't waste money on dull, unnecessary things, instead realise what really makes you happy and your life better and spend money on that.