Survey results are people’s opinions of risk. For the times and places I’m talking about, I think people have a massive delusion towards actual risks.

I'm guessing actual statistics will show that men are much more likely to experience violence, and much less likely to get help/support from others, but I don't think that'll make women feel any better about their own very real risks. It'd be nice if they had a way to feel safer without endangering themselves by surrendering their freedom and personal data to corporations who want to profit from keeping them under surveillance.

[delayed]

I think that your definition of violence might be an interesting bit of bias here.

Let me try a metaphor. You get a job offer. It's good money. You need to move to a town which is REALLY REALLY into American football. Dedicated to it 100% and there's no rules against steroid use. 50% of the town are steroid using players. You will be providing them IT support. The steroids they use make all the players twice your size and strength, a little more violent and less predictable than you, and coincidentally all sexually attracted to men.

You will be living there for one year on this contract. What changes might you expect to see in your own behavior over the year you are employed there?

This seems like an especially insensitive reply. Have you ever spoken to someone that was a victim of violence? Their brain is rewired to be much more afraid. Most women I know have experienced violence or something very scary that permanently altered their world view of safety.

I’m a male and got robbed once by a guy with a knife when I was 17. Like, the deranged murderer guy you see on news stories. Scared the shit out of me. Have had other encounters of violence inflicted upon me. But most women have encountered nothing as severe or violent as actually being attacked like that.

I’m more aware of my surroundings, and the environments I enter especially when alone. I didn’t let it become a fear of the world and let it turn me into a hermit or have a significant impact on my life. I think we should call bs on some people’s fears. So if that’s insensitive, I’m perfectly ok with it. People are too damn sensitive/anxious and there’s a massive mental health crisis it contributes to.

I wouldn't say it's being insensitive so much as irrational.

Simply, you are not other people. You don't know how they feel. You don't exist with their brain. You haven't experienced their lives. You don't have the same situation or opportunities. Therefore, you have no basis to make such judgements without incredible amounts of skepticism, especially if you can't or won't attempt empathetic understanding towards others. That disregards these basic facts.

Given this is HN, follow the logical route. Look at the science and statistics. The science shows that our brains can fundamentally change with both development (chronic) and single-event (acute) trauma. There's no way on earth this will be experienced the same for everybody, yet vast numbers of people end up experience similar symptoms, as shown in the statistics.

Your personal experience with crime, which you say changed how you approach the world to be more paranoid/anxious yourself, has been spun into positive "traits" of rational self-protection. Yet you immediately scorn others similar reactions by describing their response as a personal/societal (unclear) mental health crisis.

I'd argue a deeper mental health issue is such a lack of self-awareness or humility, instead being proud in having a purposeful disconnection from what we all share as human beings. Rather than recognizing people are all simply coping in individual ways, you must diagnose issues with others as a "them" problem because "me" feels fine so obviously "me" must have all the answers?

Ironically, your experience puts you closer to most women's experiences than you realize. You are the girl who got told it was her clothing choice that was the problem when she was walking home and got assaulted by the scary drunk guy.

I'm not particularly attractive, but have been physically grabbed and held by a strange man in broad daylight while walking - he wanted money, I didn't have any. Been followed and yelled at while walking from my car to the fast food place with a coworker while wearing our military uniform. Got a car turn around and file me while running at 4 am. Got yelled at by a van full of guys while running in a snowstorm at 5 am. Got my ass grabbed by a MUCH larger guy in a closed space at work - he was an engineer repairing comms gear I was responsible for.

I feel like I have lived a relatively safe life and am not particularly upset by most of this stuff, it's just random background noise. I don't go out drinking, I won't hang around drinking places, I don't have anything to do with drugs, I don't hang out with losers. I'm not small or particularly feminine in appearance. It doesn't matter.

Every woman you know has a few of these random things happen. Every single one. The "level of violence" used on us isn't the same as is used on men by men because why bother with a knife when you don't need it? What guy needs anything but his fists to hurt a woman?

The point is, men are violently victimized at 2-3x the rate of women. This is pretty consistent across all countries. If being victims of violence rewires someone's brain to be more afraid, we'd expect men to be more concerned for their safety than women.

The reality is that the gender disparity on fear of violence exists despite women being significantly less likely to be violently victimized. Women are just more risk adverse in general.

The 2-3x figure is about "homicide" not "nonfatal violence" which this thread has been about. And for non-fatal violence, at least in the US, the numbers put the rates of female victimization higher (although quite close) than male victimization [1]. It does seem to be true that in general, women report more fear than their raw victimization rates would predict, but this is more understandable once you recognize that the specific forms of violence experienced by men and women are usually different: for women it’s far more often a partner, someone they know, or sexual violence [2].

[1] https://bjs.ojp.gov/document/cv23.pdf

[2] https://webarchive.library.unt.edu/eot2008/20080923133123/ht...