I've had, what I consider, enough experience to feel like I know what I'm talking about here.
However, I haven't been anywhere in Canada except Vancouver and Montreal (and: downtowns there exclusively) so you could be right that there's something I'm missing, though you said 25 and I said 15, and I'm going to summon that one thing I said before: it was a 40 minute commute because everything has to be made so far from everything else.
My personal opinion is;
A) People drive to nice train stations which great parking or make use of a wide bus network (which runs infrequently to very low density neighbourhoods)
B) People cycle where they can.
C) the roads are used for deliveries, disabled people and when people need to transport their own heavy goods on the occasion it's required,
D) Minor enforcement based on ANPR (need an expensive permit if it's parked for an aggregate of 10h over a month downtown and a minor limit on how many trips can be made) To keep the roads free for those who really need it.
I know public transport gets a bad rap, but that's because the public transport system available in NA is somehow pretty scary and filled with the worst of humanity. Rubbing shoulders with people doesn't have to feel awful, it does when there is overcrowding and a separate social safety issue.
I'm in Canada, not the US, so maybe it's slightly different. But where I live seems quiet. Comparable to the country at worst, where I lived on a through-road to a beach. It's a suburb but I could walk to a grocery store in like 10 minutes, if that counts as something of value.
> in stop/start traffic and with aggressive drivers who cut you off
The stop and go can be bad during rush-hour near major highways, true. But aggressive drivers sounds like a one off bad experience, or lack of experience driving. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but they're an exception not the norm.
> So, no, it's not the best option. It's the best option you can think of.
I'd argue a general solution is better than one that only works for some people.
I wouldn't consider a 25 minute commute while being exposed to freezing rain or heatstroke weather to be the best in any way.
Before I could afford to live in the city, I had A 40 minute commute when the roads weren't closed from snow. That's basically impossible on a bike.