I don't read my comment as denigrating; discussions will naturally involve disagreements.

I do think that the sententious tone-policing of yours and other comments is injurious to discussion.

There's a difference between a simple disagreement and a judgment on a person's use of technology based on a rather mundane task.

> That's even weirder though, because you're taking what should be a moment of connection/care and trying to automate it.

"weirder" has a pretty negative connotation, hard not to see its usage as denigrating.

"what should be a moment or connection" is an assumption on what the moment actually is. All OP mentioned is that they want to turn off one light in one bedroom. Your comment invented a narrative about what that must mean and then made statements on the narrative that exists only in your mind.

I don't think anyone is trying to "tone-police" you I think people just disagree with your take.

You're literally focused on tone, critiquing connotations rather than substance.

It's difficult to have a discussion if a bunch of unrelated people jump in not to add but to quibble about phrasing. If you don't want to discuss anything, just don't involve yourself.

Words matter. You can't use words and then complain when people call you out on your usage of words.