That’s a depressingly negative way to view people who are just trying to break the isolation of modern life.

> that pretty girl? a slut who's been had by half the guys in there.

I'm not going to comment on the rest, but this is a gross and misogynistic remark.

I'm sorry you got offended.

Is it any worse than the anecdotes about the guys beating their wife and kids? It is a bit offensive, but on the other hand, if we are being honest real life often is. I do not think we should go out of our way to offend people, but neither should we go out of our way to be offended.

If you equate being sexually promiscuous with beating your children, then you have some serious self reflection to do on your moral compass.

I have never met someone in real life who would say that sexual promiscuity is worse than beating your wife and/or kids. Your moral compass is indeed in need of calibration.

How this gets posted on HN is beyond me, perhaps that's where the isolation of modern life leads to.

Village life isnt for everyone but what you’re describing here isn’t even remotely the same thing as the discussion we’re having about being friendly towards strangers.

If you need to introduce yourself, then you clearly don’t live in a village where everyone knows your name. ;)

I was just pointing out what the pre-modern life was like.

No. You're pointing out what small-village life is like. There's plenty of villages that are still like this (I lived in one until recently). And your comment implies that cities are a relatively new phenomena despite the fact that most cities are hundreds, if not thousands, of years old.

city life a hundred and a thousand years ago was entirely unlike city life now.

It is possible to treat someone as worthy of sympathy and still be annoyed.

> while everyone else is just silently annoyed by them

And you know what everyone else is feeling how?

Appreciate this question. For a moment I was almost infected by the commenters miserly attitude

It's always a matter of finding the happy medium. Don't be completely drab, don't be goofy, be balanced.

Intelligence is knowing how to talk to anyone. Wisdom is knowing not to.

Humans are social creatures. We need socialization. It also helps keep us sharp mentally.

You also never know what you might experience from talking to someone. You may make a life-long friend. Or learn about something you didn't know.

It doesn't mean blab about things you shouldn't, being insensitive, etc - but isolation is not the answer.

I've encountered a fair few women like that too. How annoying they are is inversely proportional to how attractive they are, obviously.

> almost always men

That detail is probably unnecessary.

I think this is a particular character in a particular context you're thinking about, but—aside from overtly bombastic loud people—if he can't tell that people are annoyed, how can you?

> thinking they're the live of the party, while everyone else is just silently annoyed by them.

Not saying this is you, but my impression is that people who lean into silent annoyance also depend on passive aggression, fueling it with resentment that they aren't as outgoing (or whatever) and deserve the attention instead, and those who are especially anxious and/or neurotic imagine that everyone else shares the apparent negative feelings, effectively acting as they imagine everyone else wants them to act. People have a hard time letting themselves just vibe and roll with it if they think it might make them less appealing by association. Maybe they are the life of the party, since it's not much of one if people can't pump some life into it

While it is possible to overdo everything and being "too jolly" can come across as insincere, despite being raised in a culture where almost no one talks to strangers I was never annoyed by this. Not even once.

I don't doubt people that are, exist, but I highly doubt it's a high percentage and certainly very far from "everyone else".

On the other side, I've seen people that get anoyed with someone trying to have a good time and start subtly using their group influence to sour people against that poor sap.

It is like a crabs in bucket mentality mixed with in-group machiavellian politics.

There's a fine line between being/not being that person. Self deprecating humor is usually works best. Also, when "everyone else is silently annoyed" that means the person can also know that. So there's a feedback loop providing signal and if someone doesn't realise that then they become annoying.