Probably because they don't consume gobs of HFCS and ultra-processed foods, don't take the car for every single thing[0], and have obesity/overweight rates that are 20-40% lower. A healthier work-life balance and concomitant lower cortisol and blood pressure also helps a lot.

If you compare Italians and Greeks to, say, Swedes and Dutchies, you'd get a much different picture.

[0] not entirely Americans their personal fault, their urban design isn't for walking around

>and even (gasp) sometimes smoke cigarettes are significantly healthier than Americans on every metric.

Not just "sometimes". Less these days, but when they were recognized as blue zones decades ago almost everybody smoked like chimneys.

I think it's easy to for many to miss the sarcasm. Not everyone is aware of the life expectancy of certain Mediterranean groups.