Re:Ask HN: Why is everyone in tech so performative/two faced
by bunnybomb2 on Wednesday December 03, 2025 @08:56AM
(#46134506)
This is good advice
I never understood the point of coffee chats There is no way we will develop a relationship naturally within these 30 minutes, and now its awkward if you ask me for something. Too transactional I assume they are all hustlers.. Lol!
Re:Ask HN: Why is everyone in tech so performative/two faced
by omegared8 on Wednesday December 03, 2025 @10:43AM
(#46135777)
Ehh I am the nerd and I’ll start the convo. I actually think this gets me in trouble. People judge the book by the cover.
This question ignores that this problem exists with people as a whole.
People after all are full of emotions and are ego driven. I think that most of people’s negative responses intimately boil down to fear…
This new hire makes me look bad I am worried that so and so is better than me What if their implementation is better and their company does better than mine
Instead of being happy and comfortable with the uncomfortable people react poorly
If they approach you - Hustler.
If you HAVE to start the conversation - Nerd - you might have to restart it too.
Most nerds are so involved in tech that they do not spend time working on social skills.
Most hustlers skip the tech and refine their social skills.
So find some techie forums / meetup / events and start interacting.
Myself I can fake social for about 15 to 30 minutes, but then I am exhausted. And I could not hustle my way out of a paper bag.