Re:My six stages of learning to be a socially normal person
by MichaelZuo on Tuesday November 18, 2025 @08:48AM
(#45965881)
Someone having one consciously developed ulterior motive… does increases the likelihood of them having other consciously developed ulterior motives that might be hidden away?
The linkage isn’t as strong for unconsciously or subconsciously developed ulterior motives. Hence the huge gap in how people behave towards that.
Re:My six stages of learning to be a socially normal person
by whstl on Tuesday November 18, 2025 @09:28AM
(#45966528)
Calling it "ulterior motive" is already a judgement call.
Being better at socialization is virtually demanded by society. "Not looking good" is also punished. There is nothing ulterior about anything.
The fact that a certain chunk of society demands both perfection and authenticity already makes it necessary for people to not be transparent about such things.
Re:My six stages of learning to be a socially normal person
by MichaelZuo on Tuesday November 18, 2025 @04:43PM
(#45972583)
By definition all discussion about opinions, perceptions, etc., are judgement calls…?
The problem is clearly with the bullying. And the assumptions around character. And basically using "changing yourself" as a proxy for hallucinating all sorts of completely unrelated bad characteristics. And the rationalizing around it.
It's the same for behavior: people are fine with the behavior of "naturally charming" people but as soon as someone mentions "learning how to do it" people immediately jump to conclusions and call it manipulative.