It seems to me that you're repeating the dynamic I just described, which is that you feel like your side is getting treated worse and the opposing side is getting favored. I don't agree that that's the case—not at all. It's just how this cognitive bias works, and it's a powerful one - maybe the most powerful.

I think the way out of this is to agree that a comment like https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45019132 is unacceptable regardless of who the commenter wants to see killed. When you add a "but", you undermine that. There shouldn't be a "but" here.

Exactly the same standard applies to the symmetrical situation. If you (or anyone) see other comments which are that egregious, you're welcome to send us links so we can take a look.