Maybe you didn't understand when I said "I do not want the extra hassle of containers". I don't care about start-up time, I don't care that it "isn't as bad as it used to be". I just do not want to have to create or maintain a "container" myself. That's why I chose Lambda to begin with. It's a FaaS, and that's where it ends for me.
Not to try to convince otherwise. Just that it isn’t as bad as it used to be. Our Golang lambdas have 2ms more startup time than our JavaScript lambdas.
Lambda is just a fancy CGI-BIN