That sounds an awful lot like other people making stuff up to oppress me by sticking a "condescending" label to me without me having any way to contest it.
That sounds an awful lot like a victimhood complex.
"Are you being condescending" is a subjective judgement that other people will make up their own minds about. You can't control what people think about things you say and do, and they aren't "oppressing" you by making up their own minds about that.
It just isn't! An inability to accurately identify what comes off as condescending is kind of the point...