I live in a big suburb outside downtown Denver with the alley situation you describe but we have a thriving community with monthly or bi-monthly events. Previously lived in the Bay Area for 15 years.

Factors that help:

-Every house is within two small blocks of a park.

-We don’t have individual mailboxes so most people walk to the park daily as part of the USPS CBU initiative

-Every park has a different theme and two different age appropriate activities

-Walking trails around the suburb

-Amazing community pools

-Very well run HOA with transparent communication, minimal intervention, low ($50) monthly dues.

-High number of families with young children

-Walkable grocery store and bike paths