*Big Tech Silicon Valley, I'd say.

No. Silicon Valley as a whole. There are no good guy tech companies because if they were they would be out of business. If there are, let me know because I want to work for them.

One could contrast, say, the etiquette and tech of the Fediverse.

... even then, I question if the rhetoric matches the reality. Many users of Mastodon, for instance, will decry the harvesting of data or creation of search engines, then run what is essentially an open relay of every post their users create to any other node that purports to be a legit Mastodon instance. The organic growth goal conflicts with the data-control goal.

When your technology's operation doesn't match the rhetoric, which is it?

I'd say that about all companies and even individuals, not just Silocon Valley.