A decade later, a decade lost

Re:A decade later, a decade lost by AdieuToLogic on Friday February 14, 2025 @08:57PM (#43055101)

> I lost a dog at 3 and a half years almost to the day to a congenital defect, that we didn’t know about until he was already very sick. I’m a guy who will cross a street to meet someone’s dog. For over a year afterward I would cross the street to avoid walking past the same breed and color of dog. The way people avoid pitbulls.

> And that was just a dog.

Depending on the person and/or situation, losing a dog can rival the pain of any other loss. Especially if the bond between person and dog is reinforced through daily activities.

I guess what I'm saying here is loss is loss. Some losses may be painful longer than others, for sure, but the pain of losing a being you love is universal.

A friend of mine described the pain of this type of loss thusly;

  Think of the pain like a ball bouncing around in a box,
  with a button at center-bottom which activates pain every
  time it is touched by the ball.

  At first, the ball is almost the same size as the box
  and hits the button constantly.

  Over time, the ball shrinks but the size of the box
  and the button remain the same.  All that changes is
  how often the button is hit.

HTH

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Re:A decade later, a decade lost by fipar on Friday February 14, 2025 @10:40PM (#43055710)

> Depending on the person and/or situation, losing a dog can rival the pain of any other loss. Especially if the bond between person and dog is reinforced through daily activities. I guess what I'm saying here is loss is loss. Some losses may be painful longer than others, for sure, but the pain of losing a being you love is universal.

This is beautifully illustrated by this line from Leonard Cohen's "Everybody knows":

"Everybody got this broken feeling Like their father or their dog just died"

As someone who has lost both a parent and a dog, I can relate completely to this.

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Re:A decade later, a decade lost by hinkley on Friday February 14, 2025 @10:35PM (#43055689)

I don’t want to diminish anyone else’s experience but my neutered dog did not miss out on growing up and starting a life of his own. Pursuing a career, falling in love, having a child.

At three a dog has had many of the milestones he will have in life. What I miss is the time I and my circle lost with him. Not the experiences he didn’t get to have, or the new people he might have brought into the world, and their experiences. I would have shown him more of the same life in minor variations, not things I wouldn’t even dream of doing myself.

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Re:A decade later, a decade lost by AdieuToLogic on Friday February 14, 2025 @10:48PM (#43055741)

I did not interpret your post as diminishing anyone.

The main point I wanted to share is that loss has a commonality in it always precedes pain and must be dealt with similarly. Comparing its form was never my intent nor do I hold there is any fundamental difference between them.

That's just my opinion though.

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