'Dysfunctionally functional' is probably a term that I read elsewhere. It's almost a curse because if things were to fully break, then everyone on earth would consider that a sufficient wake-up call. Instead, we limp along focusing all of our functional resources towards our dysfunction, almost like the most proficient addict who finds new and inventive ways to fight sobriety. It is truly a sight to behold.

Many cells have https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contractile_vacuole

It's an organelle that periodically contracts to expel water from inside the cell, out. This prevents the cell from absorbing too much water through osmosis and rupturing.

Even the individual cells are bailing water, as if from a sinking life raft. Always have been. Life itself is a process of dysfunctional function. Actively resisting death. It makes sense that we see this reflected at all scales. It is not a disorder, it is the natural state of living in a universe with entropy.

All kinds of different cancer, but the point is that the cells keep living and reproducing when they shouldn't. Which I think is very life-y. What's more surprising is the existence and generally reliable nature of apoptosis. The scales across which life exists are really staggering. All kinds of opportunities for weirdness in the abstractions.

Don't worry, you're still confused: nothing does :P

That's a relief! No, wait!