News for hackers. Stuff that matters.
Re:My Time Working at Stripe by Aurornis on Saturday November 02, 2024 @11:53AM (#42027115)
In recent years I had a manager who read a lot of pop-psychology and self-help books. His 1:1s turned into pseudo therapy sessions where he tried to assume the role of therapist. He and I did not get along because I politely changed the subject back to work and the office every time he tried to get me to “open up” about my childhood, my home life, my fears and anxieties, and other topics.

I thought he was a weird outlier, but I joined an invite-only Slack for management a while ago where I’d estimate 1/4 of the topics in the #1-on-1s channel are from managers trying to psychoanalyze their team or act as therapists. The good news is that the Slack is very good about correcting these people about their role and what is appropriate for work. The bad news is that these new managers are getting the idea from somewhere that they need to be some type of therapist and patriarch of the team. It feels like a weird iteration of new-age management philosophies that breed in B-list business books and social media like LinkedIn.

Re:My Time Working at Stripe by jondlm on Saturday November 02, 2024 @01:29PM (#42027770)
That's rough. Sorry to hear you were pushed.
Re:My Time Working at Stripe by d0gsg0w00f on Saturday November 02, 2024 @01:32PM (#42027795)
I'm a serious work focused person too and my manager is a little on the mushy side. Exasperating for me, but the younger talent on the team eats it up so it works for him in that respect. I'm still not sure what percentage of it is an act.
Re:My Time Working at Stripe by Nav_Panel on Saturday November 02, 2024 @05:09PM (#42029241)
This is wild to me. As someone who's done some eng management and has also read a lot of psychoanalytic theory, the only things I would actively ask my reports to "open up" about emotionally are what they like and dislike about tasks and processes, so I can better distribute work that satisfies them and remove frictions. That said if they want to tell me more, I'm happy to listen.

Otoh when dealing with peers at director or C level, things tend to get significantly more psychological, likely because their facility of judgment, which is ultimately psychological and moral, is functioning with far higher leverage due to their organizational authority.