I doubt another character assasination diatribe is going to help calm things down, or even bring any enlightenment to the peanut gallery.

No, she has an important point. We internalize the way we are treated. It may be as simple as height: I have known several very tall people (>= 6'4") whose notion of themselves was skewed by the unearned deference that they received from average-height persons who, on some subconscious level, were afraid of them.