Yes I remember the shock to hear that The Hermit, who kinda run The Register forums, died on the same day I had a chat with him. He quietly messaged me to give me some advice that was spot on. I had no idea and there was no hint that he was at the tail end of a protracted illness. They closed the forums and the website continued to change and be less of a community after that.

> posting up to the very end

8 days ago he posted a random comment about housing in Austin. So mundane.

Life and death are strange. I'm embarrassed to know that if I had 1 month to live, I'd probably still spend a couple of hours a day watching random youtube videos and commenting on meaningless HN and reddit threads.

> meaningless HN and reddit threads

Maybe they aren't so meaningless. Congregating in public forums to exchange ideas is something humans have done for millennia. I should hope that, amid the noise, we find value in the conversations here and leave a bit more enlightened or entertained.

It's not meaningless if it makes you happy. Otherwise, everything on this planet is meaningless.

I think thats why cancer is such a vicious illness to have a loved one experience. Its a long drawn-out suffering, with an inevitability at the end of it. The body shuts down gradually as the cancer wins out. For my sister it was the same with 'good days' vs 'bad days'. At first bad days were the minority and over time the ratio changed.

A sister's friend's mother had a very aggressive cancer that was diagnosed and in 10 days killed her. In a twisted way, I think that might be worse than tge long drawn battle, where more time is available.

I have no first hand experience, so this is speculation. It was just shocking to hear.

Yeah its two sides of the same coin. In some ways its easier, in some ways its harder. They both suck in their own ways.

i’ve come to believe that we’re more terrified of a situation while we’re not in it. once in there, and especially when there’s no way out, our bodies make the necessary adjustments for the new normal. and soon our minds/being follow. it’s often characterized as extraordinary strength by onlookers when in fact the person going through the experience had no way out. in my mother tongue, we have a proverb which roughly translates to ‘bravery is situational.’ therefore there are no cowards, just people without the necessary conditions to demonstrate bravery. if you’re lucky, you find it.

In my mother tongue we have an expression:

"I'm not a coward; I've just never been tested. I'd like to think that if I was I would pass."

That’s a lyric from “The Impression That I Get”, a hit for The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I guess they got it from your mother tongue.

putting this in this context was helpful, thank you. I have a few chronic medical conditions that when people learn about it sometimes remark “i dont know how you deal with that” and the answer really is a shrug and “there’s no choice.” humans are good at adapting for sure

wishing you much strength! even though there may be no way out, your composure remains a valid demonstration of fortitude, imho. god be with you!

IMHO it’s because in our imagination anything is possible, we can imagine the bad situation in more and more elaborate and complicated scenarios. And we can’t see beyond the bad situation.

While once we are in the situation we can do very practical things and have agency to react to and improve our situation.

I once read a French „practical philosopher“ who expressed it much better than me, but yea essentially the most terrifying situations are in our imagination.

It's very strange - some people are lucid and mobile up until nearly the end, and others are 'out of it' for a long time. My mother was mostly delirious and bedridden for the entire last month of her life before dying from cancer.

I suppose if the person is able to find peace with what's happening, then maybe it's better to be lucid, but for others, maybe being 'out of it' is a blessing.