What's new is that Apple/Google now effectively control our lives. Their presence is everywhere.
And so yes, in this case it really matters what happens in every ecosystem. These corporations are effectively dictating policy for how my life is supposed to work, although nobody elected them, there is no oversight. I live in Europe, so both Apple and Google are really an ocean away in terms of mindset and values.
Tap to pay is your phone emulating an iso14443 smart card, which is what a contactless bank card is. Carrying a card is of course another thing to carry, but on the plus side they don't need charging every 24h and they won't be old tech next year when the iPhoxel n+1 incrementally better edition is released.
Much of the lock-in often comes from deep eco system integration which is also good for the user in many cases.
There are pros and cons to any consumer choice. I think users are well informed an making their choice explicitly.
Yes, both eco systems employ lock-in and network-effects to keep customers. And yes that is an issue (separate from the app store issue.)
It may interest you to know that outside the US (and some parts of Europe) Apple has a smaller network share and people avoid the green bubble effect by using alternate messengers (mostly WhatsApp).
There are -choices- which you may or may not like. In the US folk have largely -chosen- to use iPhones despite Fortnite.