> I've tried to play a little as an adult, and now I have more patience, but that means I find chess too stressful! I don't want to go until I'm fairly sure I have a good move, but I still can't quite "check" all the possible moves, so I sweat the whole time and don't enjoy playing.

Do you use a timer? I feel like a moderate per-turn timer should prevent you from reaching the "can't quite check everything" zone, while still encouraging you to evaluate several positions.