These things are easily found outside of Manhattan (in my example, or whichever large downtown area you prefer).

In my little suburb I can walk to just about everything I could need, multiple farmers markets for fresh food (probably more than in Manhattan since there are many farms within an easy drive; not too many farms in Manhattan!), top rated schools, public parks, libraries, theaters, etc.

The only thing missing here compared to Manhattan is tons of bars within walking distance for the nightlife. There are a couple breweries within walking distance so that's good enough for me, given all the tradeoffs.

True, but in my experience every place that’s satisfactory on these fronts is also getting insanely expensive, even the suburban areas. I currently live in a walkable small town and COL in walkable areas is essentially the same as, say, Astoria, without nearly as many transit options or amenities.