Disagree- plenty of times in my career the company I work for beats/misses guidance and the stock moves in the “wrong” direction. To the point where it was independently a joke in multiple companies

Yes, but not always - in the case it goes in the opposite direction, they will write 'investors priced it in already' :D

There are of course tangible things that can help explain movements, but truth is - very very rarely those writing the articles know what's going on on the market.

Another funny thing in the market, mostly recently, is that earnings are announced after hours - and most of the movement happen in those after hours - which doesn't really make sense, since the liquidity is very very limited. So how come that just following the earnings, the price of say Tesla will go +10% in the after hours, and then stay pretty much at that level the next day, when real investors and big funds start trading ? Who knows...