Seems to me like an effortless way for them to automatically filter out terrible, shallow partners from their lives before investing anything into a relationship. What a time-saver!

You and I are in violent agreement on this, but... the younger generation seems more interested in 'smashing' these days than 'partner-seeking'. Can't say I was MUCH different, but I certainly wouldn't change the daily-driver tech I use just to peacock for a hot date.

Nothing excites a woman more than when you bend over backwards to please her.

Perhaps that’s more prevalent in the US and wealthier districts? I haven’t seen any of that in the UK (everyone here seems to use WhatsApp, Instagram, and Snapchat which I similarly dislike)

I think you are missing the first half the modern male reproductive lifecycle. What you are saying increasingly applies to 30's onward (when males are looking for long term family relationships) but for the 20 somethings many are looking for these shallow, vacuous women because they often can be convinced into meaningless sex. It's a pretty sad state but it appears to be this way now.

what the

I don't want to seem unduly cruel, but I strongly suggest examining whatever mislearnings led you to this point and get out and meet some people

Sounds like your friends are dodging bullets without having to do anything. I say this as an iPhone user.

Is there any possible steelman for this, or is it as shallow as it sounds?

Possible steelier arguments:

- "iPhone's are generally more expensive, Android phones are generally cheaper", so having an iPhone signals financial "goodness". Same argument can be applied to lots of other products.

- "iPhones are generally better, so if you have Android you're compromising for some reason", e.g. lack of money to buy one, "weird" political/social/other beliefs, etc.

- Messaging systems are like accents; some people might prefer dating someone who speaks their language in a more similar accent, and others might prefer dating people who use the messaging system they prefer.

Also, a lot depends on your definition of "shallow".

I'd thought of the money one, hadn't thought about the possible signaling of "weird" beliefs.

The third point seems a little silly at first, but reflecting on my own musings on whether to go full Signal-only or not I guess I can imagine someone being iMessage only same as some people are Signal-only.

Thanks!

maybe women don’t want their sms/mms/phone calls being leaked unencrypted over the antiquated, legacy telephony network?

Great point. I will use this as a greater point in my Android vs Apple arguments in the future.

As an Android user, I'd counter "Signal". Which I think would bring things back to what another comment mentioned about preferences in messaging platforms.

And maybe they prefer developing in Swift and/or prefer Xcode?

I would argue that not having an iPhone is behaving as a filter for likely incompatible pairings if not possessing a particular brand of phone is an issue to any prospective partner.

I’m in that age range and I’m married. A few years ago when I was still a single man, I experienced this firsthand at least a few times. My primary device wasn’t an iPhone and I had women tell me they “don’t like texting with green bubbles”…it was pretty bizarre, to say the least. In hindsight, I’m glad those women filtered themselves out, but it’s definitely really rough out there for our society’s young men.

It can definitely be an issue on the dating apps to be a male looking for gf material if you’re using android. I think it’s because of the shallow tech knowledge of other people as to why android is as good as apple, but the heart wants what the heart wants. For those saying such people are “shallow”, it’s just as shallow to assume the same, as one data point does not tell the whole story in my experience.

Having an iPhone was reason for me not to date someone. I'm less bothered by it now but it used to be without fail that iPhone users were just not my people.

"he was perfect but oh my god he has an ANDROID!"

Every time I come on here the things I read get more and more fucking dumb.