What has me worried is not the fact that people have been brainwashed by propaganda but their refusal or inability to see the other side of the argument.

This intransigence goes right up to the highest levels of Western governments. The War in Ukraine is lost yet leaders refuse to accept that and negotiate a peace deal. Not only that, they are trying to escalate the situation by saying its ok to use Western supplied weapons to attack targets in Russia. Russia is a nuclear power for God's sakes. This is reckless behavior. Irresponsible.

Even Thatcher had the wisdom to negotiate with the I.R.A.

i can't make much sense of it beyond that

Eastern Ukraine is mostly Industrial and would likely lose out to more modern Industry in Europe. So less incentive for Eastern (Russian speaking) Ukrainians to join Europe. Which was one reason why Yanukovich reneged on signing the EU Association Agreement as his political base was mostly in Eastern Ukraine. And the deal was quite "neoliberal", meaning Eastern Ukrainian Industry was going to get shut down without much economic relief. The other was pressure from Putin and the fact that the Russians offered a very attractive counter offer of a deal.

Ukrainians wanted a decent life. Putin didn't like it. So as a consequence he started the war.

Which by their own admission is incomplete and of very poor quality, because no-one lets them count the dead in places like Mariupol. The picture is as muddy as with Jews in Europe during the WWII. Some are refugees, many are unaccounted, and nobody knows where they are. Probably in those mass graves Russians have dug everywhere.

I wonder who made those videos, and who they're affiliated with. And also the persons speaking in them.

Perhaps you'd like to tell us?

Again I recommend for others to talk to Ukrainians. Some of them are "Russian speaking". None of them has sympathy for Putin.

Also which Deep State. Are you thinking US government is the only state in the world?

Maybe your wife does not know much about the conflict. How does she feel about glide bombs on her home town, on civilian buildings? What does she think why Ukrainians call the town Charkiv and not Charkow? Can you tell me the answer, oh wise man of conspiracy theories.