You seem to be the naivest one here, talking the bullshit Apple feeds you, when all that's required to remove the battery is a hairdryer, some prying tools and a bit of skills.
They actually are mocking the whole thing by pretending their bizarre contraption is needed, when many have tried and showed first hand it was faster to do it the "old" way.
The fact that you don't see that makes your opinion rather unsavory. But you do you I guess.
Emphasis added.
I think the absurd metal gymnastics HN'ers are willing to go through to justify things they don't understand is just... I can't even.