On Linux, because it encounters far more problems that require fiddling to repair (or old school Windows-like solutions—“reboot and hope it goes away”).

I specifically find complex Linux distros very unpleasant. If they worked really well, that wouldn’t be the case. Simple ones where I know what each process ps outputs is doing, and where its config file lives, are… well, they don’t do as much automatically, obviously, so they’re not as nice as a Mac, but at least I can fix them when they act up without going on a damn odyssey.

Actually that makes sense. I'd never want a Mac because I want to always know what my machine is doing and what's on it. I also use Linux as my daily driver and haven't had the bad luck you've had with desktops. Even if I did or had though, I couldn't go to a mac because I think I value always knowing what my machine is doing more than avoiding infrequent crashes. If the crashes were too bad on Linux I'd o for a severely neutered and caged Windows 10 install.