Your options are to use off the shelf and end up with a brittle and janky setup, or use open source and end up with a brittle and janky setup that is more customized to your workflows... It's a tradeoff though, and all the hosting and security work of open source can be a huge time sink.

You don't actually have to do any of that work if you don't want to. Half the open source software companies have that as their business model -- you can take the code and do it yourself or you can buy a support contract and they do it for you. But then you can make your own modifications even if you're paying someone to handle the rest of it.