On the other hand me and the wife weigh out things like potatoes, rice, pasta and bread, eat all the fruit and veg we want and don't own a car. So we do minimum 25k steps per day, because we walk the dogs and then walk almost everywhere else we need to go, including buying groceries (which involves back-packing food about half a mile). I also run 3 to 4 times a week. Essentially, this is the same lifestyle I had when I was 18. And guess what? At 47 I'm wearing the same jeans size I wore at 18. It really is that simple.
What's hard? Trying to convince an obese lady who drives to the office, sits on her ass for 8 hours, eats chocolate bars and McDonald's for lunch and is too tired to use the gym, that her weight is 100% down to her life choices, and not magic.
Now I just don't bother. My conclusion is that it's just some form of depression, learned helplessness, whatever. There are an infinite number of reasons why you or they are a special case. I don't let it get me down any more.
For what it's worth I don't think my lifestyle is at all "hardcore". I have a number for calories and protein that I try to hit, and I have numbers for lifts and cardio that I try to increase. That's it. I have a car, I eat fast food, I drink on nights out etc.
This is borne out in essentially every sport which has weight classes at both the amateur and professional level.
Part of becoming healthy is calibrating yourself against other healthy individuals. No, not genetic freaks, just that neighbour who actually looks after themselves.