What really gets me though, is when you see those micro expressions flash over peoples faces and then you start to doubt what you perhaps misheard or what you should've said. This is the most annoying of all problems I've ever had to deal with, as I am constantly second guessing myself, which isn't pretty.
Another thing to all deaf people out there who rely on lip-reading -- how do you go for concentration and memory when it comes to having a decent conversation? If I concentrate really hard, I'll find that I can understand what's going on, and converse back. However, if I do too much of it, my brain starts to wander because it simply starts getting too tired to concentrate at such a high level for long which ends up making me feel stupid and I either only remember the start of what they said, or the end.
For hearing people, it goes like this:
>Person says something
>You then have to playback what you've just heard, seen what words they could have said with their lips, the context and the way their body language is.
>Your brain then does some computations and tries to figure out what's being said
>Your brain then tells you to say XYZ
This goes for every word they say. So if you're not concentrating at 120% you'll miss some words. Context is important, because I LOVE YOU can also look like COLORFUL if you're trying to lip read someone -- but you won't fool any professional lip reader like us ;-)
Heya, I'd like to start some sort of community for those of us who are deaf and work in technology. I'm studying programming in Victoria, myself. Want to contact me, shannon at rocketships.ca, and I'll invite you to a facebook page? If you have a better idea than facebook, let me know, too.
When I've had conversations with people who lip read I've made sure to keep my speech at a reasonable pace, avoiding talking too quickly, and I tend to sharpen up my pronunciation and annunciation to avoid slurring words or letters.
Don't have a bright window behind you (which will silhouette your head and make it harder to see your mouth.)
We would like to host a meetup and have a drink and get to know each other. If you'd (and anyone else, all are welcome) be interested in that, email me at bobby at brilliantecho.com and I'll put something together.
A lot of my post outlines a struggle as I become more proactive. I'm leagues beyond what I used to be 3 years ago, but obviously I'm still not completely there.
I couldn't find any good/reputable speech therapists in SF, but I should have been more proactive on this. Do they have to be specifically deaf ones?
> At some point in time, I developed an ability to lip read and was able to speak without difficulty.
Can you expand on this, either on here or email? This seems like the most important part, especially as I'm not at that point.
I, too, am deaf, but our experiences are different. I was born deaf and am profoundly deaf with 85+ db loss in both ears. At the risk of sounding conceited, I'm what you would consider a success story.
A background:
As a child, I lived in San Diego, and my parents (at the advice of my speech therapist) enrolled me in a deaf school in Los Angeles that specialized in mainstreaming deaf students. I went there for 3 years and then joined a normal school in San Diego in 2nd grade wearing hearing aids.
At some point in time, I developed an ability to lip read and was able to speak without difficulty. This enabled me to have normal conversations with my hearing peers, and I was able to socialize.
So, trying to keep this short, I went through high school, went to college, received a cochlear implant (about 6 years ago), graduated from college with a degree in design, and I've actually worked with a number of companies in teams. I also met my wife (who is hearing) in college, and we've been together 10 years and married for almost 4.
I'm currently in my third week working as a lead designer for a YC startup in San Francisco, and it's a 6-member team. Great people, and there have been no issues as far as communication, and the team members here are very willing to accommodate any challenges I may have.
With that said, because lip reading requires me to intently watch people, I share your frustrations when it comes to conversations in an open office environment and in group conversations, but I found that one of the best ways to try to control that is to engage in conversation rather than be the 'fly on the wall'. I greatly rely on context when I lip read, so it's important to know what the context of the discussion is. It's actually much harder to lip read someone when you don't know what the context is.
Now, I have to say something - you said you use Cued Speech, and you sign. I believe that if you continued to do so, it would only frustrate you further. Furthermore, I'm surprised that you didn't make use of your speech therapy benefit, as that's probably the best way for you to overcome the difficulties you have. Learn how to lip read too - it's a fun party trick. :) Also, try to engage in normal conversations with your co-workers, no matter how challenging it might be. Practice is important. They will respect you for it. I completely understand the challenges of having a handicap and the challenges behind getting accommodation for your handicap, but I find that the best strategy is to ignore your handicap, overcome it, and come up with ways to accommodate yourself, not others.
If OP is David, you can contact me here on HN.