They will spit on the work you carefully worked on throughout the years and celebrate that.
Thus, you don't negotiate. Instead, you go to their higher-ups and highlight that the company's resources are being misappropriated for petty squabbles and personal tilting at windmills.
Though sadly nowadays it has gotten way more difficult, because a greater portion of bureaucratic, community and HR positions in the companies are captured, so when the damage is noticed, it may already be too late.
Hyprland discord appears to be a cesspool and one fermented by Vaxry himself, trans hate or otherwise. Now some people are saying - they have improved (and others are saying they have not). But reading his blog posts and seeing current status, I am not optimistic. I mean you can't make this stuff up. Why use a opensource discord community for sharing porn? (which likely have minors).
Stay out of other people's business. What they say and do in their discord server has nothing to do with code contributions an owner of the server makes.
You can fulminate about trans people all you like in the quiet of your own home, but if you harass or intimidate them in a publicly viewable way, there will be consequences. And when a code of conduct board member for a project approaches you and tells you you need to do better, any response other than "Yes, sir/ma'am/other, I will do better" is grounds for questioning whether you should be permitted to contribute further to the project.
Will the invasion of FOSS continue?
Never opposed by sane normal people?
Be ready for the masses to say "no" when you order them around.
A time when mentally ill men aren't given rule over all FOSS projects is coming.
Woman fights back!
Now read the first word of each line above :)
Someone has been held accountable for their behaviour and apologised, it doesn't mean they're forever in your debt and on a chain.
But ultimately, I do not see your name on the FreeDesktop.org code of conduct committee... therefore, your opinion of what constitutes hate is completely irrelevant in this case. Code of Conduct committees are authorized to issue bans against anyone who, in their sole discretion, is an asshole specifically to avoid this kind of fruitless argument. The emphasis is on fostering a safe and welcoming community. Not in allowing freeze peach activists to sealion their way out of a ban.