And confounding things further, there's little evidence that group one lives a longer -- much less happier -- life, than group two.

I had the impression over-eating and drug abuse was shortening one's life, on average. Is that wrong?

Both of the examples are archetypical extremes.

But FWIW the character created for example #2 is not mainlining mountain dew and fentanyl.

Could you expand on why you think living healthily doesn't increase your lifespan?

Untreated STDs can cause infertility, sexual dysfunction, cancer, brain damage, and death. No method of preventing them is 100% effective besides abstinence or having sex with a small amount of partners that you trust not to lie about being clean.

Drugs carry the risk of overdosing, and for those that even just use semi regularly they still reduce lifespan.

Eating excess calories makes you fat which hugely increases your risk of having a heart attack among other health issues. Even if you control your calories, eating processed food makes you more likely to die early or develop a debilitating disease.

This is all very common sense about how to live longer, if you think you've cracked the code and any of the above is wrong please explain.

You left out the moral turpitude of rock and roll, which could cause you to be not right with the divine and forfeit your soul.