> I know there are plenty of hyper puritanical people who would disagree with me [...] If I found out one of my coworkers was a career bank robber I'd just want to get a beer and hear the crazy stories.

Absolutes do not work and details matter. Maybe you just do not find the crimes you mentioned particularly disturbing. Now imagine that the coworker has comitted some crime that you personally are terrified of or disgusted by. Would you still just go get a beer and hang out? Would you trust the person around people you love or care about? Would you trust the person around potentially vulnerable people at your workplace?