I have three children, not unusual for my culture. My community's gardener has 14 children, low for his culture but he's still young. He's only on his second wife and he just passed 40 years old.

Are you going to tell him that he needs to change his culture? Arguably he could have a lot to say about our culture spewing out hydrocarbons being damaging to the planet, which would be justified far before we criticise his reproduction.

>Are you going to tell him that he needs to change his culture

If you're going to life a modern lifestyle, yes 100%. Modern human lifestyles are hyper energy/resource intensive. The reason people had 14 kids back when is 1. most of the kids died, and 2, the kids were work resources. If 1 and 2 no longer hold, then yea, change.

I would bet the reason was women did not have an option to say no to having 14 kids.

Although, in this supposed gardener’s culture, one guy had multiple wives, and that is obviously not a dynamic that leads to a steady, peaceful society based on all the prevailing customs around the world.

I've spoken to a few Bedouin women, though less than men. I've never heard any say that they are unhappy with the quantity of children they raise. That's their culture, why would they be unhappy?

One thing that I've heard them say they are unhappy about are the marrying of additional wives. One particular conversation was with two wives of the same man. The older wife said that she did not want her husband to marry, but over time she began to like the younger wife. In the particular case of the gardener, his first wife told him to marry because the first two children were born unhealthy.

I'd say about half the Bedouins I speak to have multiple wives.

> That's their culture, why would they be unhappy?

Because you have no reason to assume they would tell you the truth, or that they are not lying even to themselves. Actions speak louder than words, and 99% of women who attain financial and physical security choose to not have 14, or even 4 kids.

You should know that any attempt to change that culture would have the international community screaming genocide.

See here:

  > Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;

https://www.un.org/en/genocideprevention/genocide.shtml

Giving women the opportunity to be self sufficient is not intending to prevent births.

Quite patronizing of women.

As recently as the generation that was born before WWII, even the Boomers, were born into relatively large families. The idea that they hated having so many children would have been foreign to them. On the contrary, it gave them meaning. Family and community life was vibrant. Now, things are desolate. We live in a culture of death.

I am not patronizing anyone. I am just presenting statistics, and the possibilities for why they are what they are. By far, most (almost all) women who have access to financial independence, physical security, and access to contraception CHOOSE to have 0, 1, 2, or maybe 3 kids.

No one tells them they cannot have 8 or 14 kids. But after having seen what a woman goes through during pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and child rearing, I would easily say that I would also choose 0, 1, 2, or 3 kids. Certainly not double digits.

It's amazing how conservative, religious men always think they know what women really want more than actual women do.

Yes, he should change his culture. We should too. Why is it taboo to tell people that their cultural values are wrong?

If you ever find the answer then let me know.

I have no problem telling someone their culture is wrong. In this case, it is ours that is wrong.

No

> Arguably he could have a lot to say about our culture spewing out hydrocarbons being damaging to the planet […]

Good?