Exactly. I have the same thought about Conway's Law aka "the software structure will end up matching the company's org chart".

Conway's Law is not a code smell to be avoided. Avoiding it is sisyphean, a band-aid, and nearly impossible.

Instead, Conway's Law is a way, indeed the only sustainable way, to choose the software structure.

Applying the intended software architecture to the org chart is often known as the Inverse Conway Manoeuvre.

Weapons engineering is also engineering but I don't want to work for arms dealers like Anduril.

I do have a sense of morality and know where I stand in terms of power dynamics.

These however exist and function, with or without my consent, and are less black and white than the weapons dealing metaphor. For example, a single mother in such an organization, if able to operate with influence, creates opportunities for her family and for her children’s futures. Nothing to do with the morality of arm dealing.

On the contrary; it's the essence of ethics.

Character is what you are in the dark.