The best part, however, is that I can suck at everything. When I had a job I felt a ton of responsibility to meet a high standard in everything I was paid to do, but now I can afford being an absolutely moronic beginner at everything I attempt, because ultimately it doesn't matter. It's liberating.
Do you think you could’ve learned to not feel that? I feel fine doing an OK job as long as my OK is the standard my employer expects.
I have a rather anxious response to work, probably because of how much was at stake earlier in my career. I was an immigrant with a flimsy work permit that meant if I lost my job I would have to move to another country, with the added stress of being the only income in our family with no real prospect of my wife being able to find a job that would cover our expenses either. We couldn't count on anybody else helping us out either.
It was a lot of pressure, and my fear-driven response was to work as hard as possible and save as much as possible. I got lucky and ended up effectively retiring at the age of forty. Do I recommend it? No, it was a pretty miserable experience. But those were my circumstances and I did what I thought was best for us.
<It's like a prolonged weekend> I tell my friends it feels like I'm getting away with something!
For example, I can afford to be a lousy jogger, because nothing bad is going to happen if I don't become faster. I couldn't afford to be a lousy engineer, because my family could end up homeless in a foreign country. That was the reality I lived at the beginning of my career.
Due to family circumstances i had to take "retirement" from the industry for the past decade and focus my life on care-giving. So w.r.t. studying Philosophy/Science/Technology/etc. i have been in this mode for a while and it has been quite enjoyable intellectually. Nassim Taleb in one of his books calls himself a "Flaneur"(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fl%C3%A2neur) which i think perfectly embodies this mindset i.e. a intellectual stroller/dilettante interested in anything/everything, cursorily exploring/diving deep into whatever takes his fancy and in general being an observer rather than a participant. The goal (if any) is knowledge for knowledge's sake and not money/job/status/etc.
One suggestion i have for your retirement is to buy lots of books on any/every topic that catches your fancy. Books are cheap, last forever, helpful to the next generation and intellectually rewarding at many levels.
Things like reading HN, such great articles, most of which I don't need to know, but fascinating none the less. Sometimes someone will not like a reply I made, who cares? (I do love the replies!) I'm not asking for anything, I'm just being.