Maybe instead of just saying you got unbelievably angry at the software you could file bug report or find a list of things you didn't like or would like to be improved.
On the other hand it is great that XFCE (or KDE or Gnome) are there to choose from and it is great that you found something you like. At some point is subjective, everyone has different tastes and preferences, so it is good to have choices.
One thing that might have been a bug is that in the software centre, there was no search box for a free text search like in synaptic. I spent ages clicking around trying to find it but it wasn't there.
No you are not stupid, the user interface experience is highly subjective I think and most of all it is colored by our previous experiences. It used to be ex-Windows users trying to use Linux UIs.
And I guess you got downvoted because people felt you just vented your anger without really providing anything else to add to the discussion ( a particular bug that you found or a particular bad design). It is kind of like jumping in the middle of a discussion and saying "this thing is stupid I hate it" and leaving it at that.
> there was no search box for a free text search like in synaptic. I spent ages clicking around trying to find it but it wasn't there.
I remember that too when the switch happened. I think I either looked it up or started typing and found out that just typing often is used a way to filter items (at least that's how it works when you click on the Ubuntu button in the top left of the desktop, you can type and it will find applications that match that string).
Our perception of user interfaces is very much tied to habit - what we're used to. New interfaces take some time to adjust to.
I know some people who hated Hipmunk and the iPad because they couldn't figure out how to use them.
You should give Unity another try. You may still not like it, but if you're a programmer who likes to use the keyboard more than the mouse, you will at least like the HUD.
I think part of it is that with Unity, there are never overwhelming amounts of options on the screen. Once you understand that Super Key = Search for Application, that's pretty much all you need to know.
In the past, I think the "Start Menu" style application-chooser would have been overwhelming for her - I know it was sometimes for me. I'd click then start reading through the menus "Uhh, wait, what did I want? Where is that again?"
Even with the occasional Unity glitch (which doesn't seem to be an issue at all in 12.04) her system is still much more reliable than ever.
I was really impressed and excited to see that Linux was at the point where she could use it with very little coaching - so, worth considering that much at least.
And even if Unity is doing some things wrong, it is well worth refining this launcher concept. Flying up to a 'File' menu to (say) exit an application, or Edit to search a file, is about as stupid as dragging a floppy disk onto a garbage can. Harder to decide exactly what to do instead.
I'm also quite happy that FINALLY some GUI designers are putting elements like quick keys and fuzzy searching at the foundation rather than kludging them on to an interface which is fundamentally hostile to people who have specific actions in mind and/or know what they are doing.
For now, though, the devil is in the details...
But I wouldn't be so quick to judge any piece of software. Only after learning how to use the system and the ideas behind it, you can properly make intelligent criticism of it. When I tried emacs, nothing seemed to make sense to me. I had to reference the manual and google all the time. And still I didn't become angry (frustrated sometimes though), nor did I begin to hate it.
I couldn't believe how I angry and frustrated I became. I'm usually not that invested in things like this, and tbh I really wanted to like it. If I'm representative of at least a fraction of the userbase then they should have a look at why people like me are reacting this way.
EDIT - I'm getting hammered with the downvotes so I'd genuinely like to hear why. I'm not trying to troll and I bring these things up because I want Ubuntu to succeed but I think they're missing something incredibly important right now in their approach.