What is substituted is not the relational DBMS but the relational model. ORMs are supposed to let you think in terms of objects instead of sets of tuples.
ORMs do these automatically, and go beyond.
But people tend to just blindly copy everything into an object model and perform operations on those objects that could just as well have been done in a set oriented way with a lot less code causing a lot less network traffic.
Obviously there are scalability downsides and not everything is easier to express in terms of sets, so I try to be pragmatic. You can of course do set operations through an ORM but that's not its purpose and the performance implications are sometimes tricky.
However there is one thing, most ORMs by default transfer the whole object. What is you only need a few variables?
ie: To use an ORM you must use a relational database. Things like mongoose exist, but they're not ORMs since they don't map objects to a relational database.