If you ever forget or wonder if you have ADHD vs being inattentive, just look back at its affects on your romantic relationships and how much it damaged them or made them more difficult.

How often a partner probably told you that they felt neglected or forgotten, or how often you'd wind up in a rabbit hole and forget that you also have to nourish that relationship.

Totally agree. I stopped counting long time ago.

Oof. This hits close to home. I have ADHD and my partner recently ended a nearly six-year relationship, for several reasons (as it would be with any long-term relationship where you were planning to get married), but feeling neglected and like she had to constantly compete for my attention was one of them. Neither of us really explicitly/consciously realized this was one of major sources of unhappiness/friction at the time, at least not until close to the end. I don't blame her though. Looking back, yeah, wow, I really wasn't doing a good job of paying attention to her and her needs, even though I cared so so so deeply about her. Lessons learned, I suppose. I know now that this is something to be mindful of and put active effort into counteracting in my next long-term/serious relationship.

It's something that I unfortunately didn't put 2+2 together until my 30s after ruining quite a few and always wondering why I would be so enamored with someone and they never felt like I was giving them enough.

And my most recent ex was anxious attached. That was rough. I'm far more on the avoidant side, not sure how much of that is upbringing vs adhd.