'It's quite soul-destroying': how we fell out of love with dating apps

Re:'It's quite soul-destroying': how we fell out of love wit... by momojo on Monday October 30, 2023 @06:38PM (#38076927)

> Third places and real communities don't really exist anymore.

I joined a book club last year, and it was great for a few months, but I noticed that most people, unless truly dedicated, petered off, or would only come and 'taste' for a month then ghost. I'm not saying I'm any better. When you've gone to 5 book clubs that have fallen apart, why would you risk committing and being sad when it falls apart again?

I believe our ability to commit is deteriorating; the how and why is a whole nother topic.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:'It's quite soul-destroying': how we fell out of love wit... by red-iron-pine on Tuesday October 31, 2023 @08:58AM (#38084110)

there are so many competing demands for time, and some of them are pretty dang good.

why take a risk on a book club when you can shitpost online? and watch netflix at the same time?

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:'It's quite soul-destroying': how we fell out of love wit... by zlg_codes on Thursday November 02, 2023 @10:53PM (#38123866)

I think you answered yourself, in a sense. Our ability to commit is deteriorating, but the reason why is (partly) the risk of commitment itself. You risk being hurt or disappointed if you commit to the wrong event or wrong person. Figuring out what's "good" to commit to is possibly more individual than we realize.

I personally find it weird when people talk shit about someone being unwilling to commit, as if one should jump straight into serious obligations without any forethought. You didn't do that of course, but I see it come up in discussions sometimes, mostly concerning relationships. Commitment is more complicated than most people see it imo.

[ Parent | on HN ]