I agree people should plan for more pet-related costs than they do, but, as technology progresses, there doesn't seem to be a ceiling on the amount you _could_ spend to save a pet.
In my case, we have always taken in rescue animals. So the choice is between leaving the pet at shelter or a life in a good home with some limited options when it comes to end-of-life care. I think the latter option is more humane.
So it isn't a big $10K+ or bust argument. But the sad fact of the matter is very few pet owners assume ownership while planning for the potential bad days and the extra financial burden and responsibility that they should feel when they take on pet ownership.
If in practice owning a dog or cat will also cost 10k at times, it's only reasonable to take the same approach and consider owning a them as a pretty high luxury, until the costs effectively come down.
Or every pet owner gets to your level of dedication and will assist their pet and the vet when tough times come and hard decisions need to be made. I personally wouldn't have the guts so I'll stick with my goldfishes.
Sometimes people's finances change though, and then (assuming it wasn't serious money mismanagement) I think it's cruel to say they should give up their pet.
Pet insurance should be front-loaded, so you have to pay a lot the first few months, but if you stop paying you get to keep the insurance at least for a while.
And once you have any vet record of anything other than a routine wellness check, you're basically locked into your policy because if you try and switch providers, you'll run into pre-existing condition limitations, which are quite difficult to understand or predict. This is also difficult because not only will your insurance go up simply for your pet getting older, the pet insurance companies are constantly going through rate changes, as they adjust risk profiles for breeds or adjust to vet care inflation. Depending on what state you live in, these rate adjustments could be completely uncapped.
Even if you don't switch, many insurance providers won't write new policies for pets over certain age thresholds.
Basically pet ownership would require either 10k on the side or registration and justification to get proper insurance.
Medical insurance distorts the market by disconnecting the payer from the costs. It will do the same in veterinary medicine if it hasn't already.
That goes for fish, dogs or tarantulas.
There doesn't exist a duty to spend unreasonably large quantities of resources on saving any particular animal's life, so not being able to afford that doesn't make someone unfit to own a pet. If a pet has cancer, it's okay to perform a complex surgery that could save it, but it's also okay to let it die.
I'd argue not having the means to deal with emergency situations would make someone unfit to own a pet.
I get that circumstances can change and costs increase, but I also feel too many people assume a pet doesn't cost much or isn't much of a comitment.
You're right that the costs are crazy, and not taking it into account when deciding to take or keep a pet is irresponsible.