wow you woke up today and chose violence, didn't ya?

I know what you mean. I was forced to use emacs for a year. I found it an interesting coincidence the person who forced emacs on us had the worst carpal tunnel syndrome and couldn't type on a standard keyboard without extreme pain.

I know you can remap your keys but there's inertia to just go with what you're given.

I've also noticed myself switching between Mac, Windows, and Linux, that Cmd-C on my Mac is way less stressful on my hand than Ctrl-C on the other 2 machines. I should probably figure out how to remap those.

PS: If you're curious how emacs was forced, it was because the lead built the project's IDE/build/debugging system into emacs

Try a keyboard running QMK firmware. You can map a single key to multiple codes depending on the length of the key press. I use caps lock as escape if released immediately, and control if held down. Putting the modifiers in the bottom corner of the keyboard was a sadistic design choice.

Or evil mode.

"escape if released immediately, and control if held down"

Elegant.

And I mean for those two particular modifiers with that relationship, not just the idea in general.