I'm picturing someone else at the bar, watching you as you furiously, dejectedly type away on your phone whilst your facial demeanour slowly degrades...

"Say, man, what's up?"

"Someone just made me think about the myriad ways in which The Last Jedi not just sucked, but sucked the rest of the life from the 40-year history of Star Wars"

"oooof! Here, I'll shout you a bottle of Jack's, but I know it's not enough by far".