Yeah I understand that sentiment. I use the “on stilts” metaphor - a sedan or a hatchback on stilts is an SUV to me. A van is a van, those rarely go on stilts. We also have a new segment called “crossover”, which is an SUV without the S.

There’s no coherent formula for what an SUV/crossover is, but ride height is my rule of thumb. But then I ask myself “where does the Jeep Wrangler fit in?” - afaic, it’s an SUV.