Northern European countries are, I believe, generally considered low context countries. High context countries include Japan, India, several Middle Eastern countries, France etc

Definitely true, and this also applies to getting things without asking.

As a somewhat tongue in cheek example -- if you have guests over you should to offer coffee three times. They may refuse the first two and accept the third time. But if you do not offer thrice, they'll go home and complain that you were too stingy to even provide coffee.

You should read the manner of refusal in these kinds of cases, and offer more profusely if the situation demands.

I am built this way. It's weird to admit, but not only I will not ask directly; I am very hesitant to accept things even when offered. Definitely very high on the guess culture scale, and I know that's incompatible with how some other cultures operate, so I'm trying to be mindful about it and behave more directly when situation demands.

Bedouin culture is based on asking 3 times knowing the first 2 don’t count.

I always saw it as a way for a host to try a couple of alternatives before working on the actual need.

This kind of thing is so foreign to me. Why all the dance? It makes no sense to me. I'll offer you a choice of coffee, tea, water, juice. Whatever we currently have basically. You say which one you want or you get nothing. Your choice.

It's just a different culture, so it's not an active, rational decision about which way to react -- that's not how we work. My first instinct always is to refuse the offer before I really consider if I want it or not. It's built-in, it's in my bones. The polite way, not being a burden or causing extra hassle. Then with a follow-up offer I have maybe considered the circumstances and my wants a bit more and can accept if I feel so.

> You say which one you want or you get nothing. Your choice.

It doesn't work if I'm visiting you, that's for sure. It works well and without any friction in my own culture. So there's the need to be mindful of the situation and perhaps consider a bit longer before going with my instincts.

And if the worst comes to pass and you don't offer again, then maybe I'll realize our differences and just ask for that coffee after all.

I guess if I had to describe it it's sort of like instead of primarily looking after yourself and your own needs, it becomes more of a collaborative project. Like I care about the people around me by anticipating what they might need (would you like a cup of tea, would you like a pillow) to make them comfortable, and in return, they do the same for me, and I get a positive feeling of community around this looking after and being looked after cycle.

From there it continues towards my knowing that when I arrive somewhere they are sort of socially obligated to offer whatever they have to me regardless of whether they have the means to or want to. Maybe I feel like they would be more comfortable sitting and chatting with me but they are insisting on standing and serving me with drinks and such. So I say no initially, I want them to rest for a moment. But they indicate, by asking again, that it's no problem, and that in fact they will be making something for themselves regardless of what I say, at which point I think about if I actually want something.

    it it's sort of like instead of primarily looking after yourself and your own needs, it becomes more of a collaborative project

I don't think that's a fair characterization. I am looking after my guest(s). I ask them if they'd like something to drink. We have X, Y and Z. If they indicate that they are not in need of drink but are later on, they know what we have now and can ask. I have no visual or other indicator to foresee when they might actually become thirsty. I will not ask them every half hour whether they now want to drink something. Of course, if I happen to start making coffee because now it's "cake time", I'll ask again if they also want a coffee while I'm making some anyway or something else. But in between they better say something if they need it.

This to me is ask culture. On the other hand, guess culture would be someone making tea before I even arrive and serving it to me, expecting me to like it and drink it. Sorry but I don't drink tea. Please just ask me if I want one because if you don't have coffee, I'd rather just have a glass of water. But now that you've served this I won't say no because my guess is that it'd offend you, so I just nip a bit but don't drink it.