It may have more to do with deeper, more static personal relationships within a community in rural settings. In urban settings, folks generally don’t know their neighbors, can hide in numbers, have to be more assertive with strangers and acquaintances, and can get away to a fresh start if they wreck their reputation.

I think ask vs guess is a good start, but looking at my experience and looking at what people are talking about here, there is at least one more dimension at play here.

As someone who's lived in both environments, I think most urban people develop a shell from the constant interaction that's required in a city. People selling wares, hobos/homeless, and a stronger need to protect oneself. You have to be blunt or you'll never get anywhere. lol.

This is advice preached to people visiting NYC all the time.

The person on the corner asking “excuse me sir may I please ask you a question” almost certainly has ulterior motives. Locals in a busy neighborhood ignore a guy like that a few times a day.

But the person on the corner who says “hey which way is the 7 train?” with no preamble is gonna get good answers, despite being less traditionally polite.

Where there is constant stimulation, the cultural norms get a lot more direct

Yeah, on the other hand, I recently was looking for an old land cruiser and got in touch with a local guy on facebook. Knew I wanted it and sent him 1k to hold the car for me for a few days until I could rent a trailer. He did so and I picked up the suv without a hitch.

I'd never do this in Los Angeles where I live part time.

I context switch based on which home I'm at, North Georgia or Los Angeles.

That's a very good analysis, so much it seems obvious in retrospect. But I think it misses one other factor: I've witnessed the most rural people to adopt ask-culture when they were guess people before. My gut says this has something to do with social media/smartphones but idk.